EW.

So in case you didn't know, I'm a college student who is GLADLY graduating very soon, as in weeks from now. The boyfriend, Tim, has fortunately been my cheerleader the past few terms, convincing me to not to just quit and give up as my urgent case of senioritis sets in. Usually these conversations happen when I'm visiting him in Seattle and have to go back home in a day or two.

Me: -heavy sigh- "Can't I just quit school and live in your closet forever?"

Tim: "STAY ON TARGET!"

Yeah. I know his arguments aren't exactly the most revolutionary, but he's my boyfriend and I'm really not all that keen to waste my parents' thousands of dollars despite how painful school can be for me.

Anyway, one day while I was wallowing over how much I did NOT want to be there, I texted Tim and in an attempt to make myself feel better about spending money to sit in rooms where I had to be quiet and pay attention to things I didn't care about anymore, I asked him if it made me sexier now that I'm going to have a college degree.

Our conversation went something like this

Tim: "So sexy! So sexy that I want to HUMP YOUR BRAIN!"

Me: "Awww... I guess that's okay, just don't get yourself too excited and make a mess everywhere."

Tim: "HAH Brain jizz."

Me: "Be careful with that, we might end up with brain babies!"

Tim: "Eww...."

Me: "What, brain jizz is okay but brain babies aren't?"

Tim: "Babies are GROSS."

Guess I'm never having children, at least not until I can give birth to fully grown adults. Because, as a wise man once said, "babies are GROSS."